


Gonna Cry?? Piss Your Pants?? Maybe Fall In Love????

by troglodyke



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Freeform, Rating May Change, Redemption, i really only have chapter one written at the time of publishing this, ill update inconsistently that’s just who I am, linda eats shit, not like that not literally not like fucking that, possibly I may add secks watch out, wlw, yeah this is perch from chapter two there’s now sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troglodyke/pseuds/troglodyke
Summary: go read live, laugh, leave this is just the prototype
Relationships: Barnroe, Linda Monroe/Becky Barnes, Linda Monroe/Character Development, Linda Monroe/Shame
Comments: 33
Kudos: 65





	1. In Which Linda Eats Shit

Linda Karen Monroe has mastered walking in heels. Short business heels, stilettos, whatever the situation requires. She’s worn it. So it isn’t often you see Miss Linda Karen Monroe fall over and eat shit. Judging by the shocked look on her face she wasn’t expecting it. And judging by the silence that swept over the Cinnabon, nobody else there was expecting it either.

It was like that for a moment. Silence. Just like some sort of scene playing out in slow motion. And then a loud crack, followed by a single exclamation. “Shit!”

————————————————————————

Becky Barnes thinks a little too much for her own enjoyment. As she walked briskly down the hospital corridor she thought to herself. What is it this time? What’s for lunch? I wonder how Tim is doing. Always some sort of rapidfire questions, at first harmless in nature. What if it’s more serious than I think? What if it IS Tim? What if this is finally the one I mess up? What if they don’t… And they always descend into madness. However, as Becky walked through that emergency room door, she was greeted with a surprise. And certainly not one she would ever expect.

“Hello,” Linda groaned as she shifted her legs, clearly trying to shift pressure off of her left. “I see they don’t need you in the operating room today. Maybe this is your new job, tending to the drunks and the men who’ve come in because they’ve put something unholy up their asses. How fitting!” She grinned, raising her arms and accidentally falling a little off balance. She quickly steadied herself with her legs and winced, the grin falling off her face.

Despite the doctor’s own instructions to help a patient immediately, Becky stood there for a few seconds, wide eyed. She regained her composure and clasped her hands together, hoping it’d be enough to keep her from panicking or overthinking. “What… seems to be the problem, Miss Monroe?”

Linda gasped, a fake look of shock painted across her face. Hurting herself had not been fun but hell if she wasn’t going to use this chance to fuck with Becky to its full extent. “You can’t tell? Well you’re a doctor, aren’t you? What, were they short on people when they finally stooped low enough to hire you?” Linda would’ve continued on and on with her torment but it had become apparent to her that Becky wasn’t going to answer anything if she did. The blonde gestured to her left leg wildly. “My fucking leg, Barnes!” 

Becky turned towards the cabinet to grab her materials. A small stone hit her in the back. Turning around, she saw Linda chuckling to herself. Oh well, the doctor thought, she’ll be gone soon. She picked up a variety of materials from inside of the cabinet, including but not limited to some latex gloves, a roll of medical tape, that weird rubber hammer, and a box of band-aids with some sort of sea creature on them, which seemed to be the only ones in town for some reason.

The doctor turned around, her hands full of her equipment. “Alright. Let’s get this over with. You might not even have to be X-rayed!” Despite the situation, Becky kept a smile on her face. Why? It’s simple. She loves her job and doesn’t want to lose it. There’s absolutely no satisfaction felt at Linda being injured. No way.

“Barnes!” A yell broke Becky out of her musing. Becky nodded and walked back over to Linda, who’s extended her legs in a way that definitely isn’t healthy for either her or the situation. Becky breathed a small sigh of exasperation before she moved her hands to the other woman’s ankle. She prodded it with her thumb and Linda let out a demonic screech. “Does it. Does it actually hurt or is this to annoy me? Linda, I can’t help you unless you cooperate,” Becky sighed. By some sort of miracle, the other woman shut up.

————————————————————————

Examining her worst enemy definitely was not easy or any fun, Becky noted. It was a slow, grueling process. Becky would feel her joints. Linda would either make some sort of snarky comment or awful noise. Becky would get up to wash her hands. Linda would make a remark about how dirty her whole self was. Becky would patch up the few small cuts on Linda’s calf. Linda would tell her how the designs on the band-aids reminded her of her four beautiful children and by association just how much dick she was getting. It went on and on and on. A poke. A comment. A prod. A mock fainting. A wrap of bandages around the leg. The most obnoxious, preposterous noises of panic the doctor had ever heard. But Becky kept her calm throughout. She had to, really. She couldn’t give that woman what she wanted. At last the work was finished, with Linda’s leg bound in a brace and Becky just about ready to quit her job.

Becky stood up a little too quickly. Finally. It’s over. She was about to grab the papers documenting the visit for Linda to give to the desk when she heard one last comment from behind her. “How drab. Really, an injury is no excuse for bad fashion.”

The doctor turned to face Linda, still laying back in the chair. She exhaled a small breath of frustration from her nose. Keep calm, Becks. Come on. She’s almost gone. “It’s just for a couple weeks, Linda. Sherman walks around like that everyday, you’ll be fine”.

Linda glared at Becky. She didn’t like the kindness emanating from the doctor. It felt strange, having something she had no control over, no matter how bitchy she got. And still she got bitchier. “Come on, Barnes. The entire town adores me! They can’t have their idol walking around like some imperfect being,” she shrugs, “then they’ll think they’re special. Everyone fucking loves me and I plan to keep up my appearance so I’m deserving of it. Hell, Barnes. Everyone but you sees a goddess when they look at me. Face it, you’re the outcast here. They all adore me.”

“You think I never did?” Becky shouted, almost knocking over the stack of papers with her large arm gesture. Linda, for once, didn’t have anything to say. “God, Linda! How stupid can you be? Back in high school I thought you were the shit! Why do you think I annoyed you so much even though I had so many other friends?? I used to be like everyone else here, enraptured by,” Becky flailed her arms about in front of her for a second, at a loss for words, “by whatever sort of enigmatic beauty you have! But eventually I grew up and I realized, hey! She’s an asshole! She’s not worth your time! And someday everyone else will realize that too, and maybe you’ll realize that you should have been a bit nicer, when you’re walking around Hatchetfield and people cross the fucking street to avoid you, Linda. Maybe you’ll realize when your kids don’t even want you anymore. Maybe when that man you’ve roped in leaves you for someone better. What’ll it fucking take, Linda?” Breathing heavily, Becky shoved the papers in Linda’s face. “Have a nice day.” Becky turns to storm out of the room, leaving Linda speechless in the chair behind her.


	2. In Which Gary Is Hardly A Licensed Therapist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus fuck yall when I said tis might get explicit I didn’t mean chapter two. oh well 🤘😔🤘
> 
> sorry if it’s even shorter than usual I am Out Of Ideas

Linda Karen Monroe had not had a good day. As she lay awake in her bed, gazing at Gerald’s back, she pondered. She’d walked home, just like normal. She’d looked through the windows of every shop, just like normal. Every item of clothing, every piece of jewelry was perfectly arranged, just like normal. So then why the fuck did everything feel so off? She’d walked home, said hello to her children and headed off to her room. Eventually Gerald had arrived home as well. They cooked dinner. Ate at the table all together, just like they did every day. But even now, as she was lying next to her husband, she felt alone. She’d married this man. She’d created these children. If everything here was a product of her decisions, of her emotion, then why did she feel so out of control of it all? She gave the people living alongside her their good lives. They owed it all to her, so naturally they cared. Of course they did. Linda felt her fists clench, gathering the sheets underneath her into little bundles. She gripped as tight as she could, holding onto the semblance of whatever she was missing. The woman glared intently at Gerald’s back, as she whispered reassurances to herself. She looked him up and down, each freckle and mole standing out, exactly where she remembered them being. She knew this man better than she knew any other person. And he was right there. So why did he feel so foreign? Why the fuck did she feel so alone?

———————————————————————————————————

Linda awoke at about 4 in the morning. While asleep she had turned herself around so that when she awoke she was staring at the wall. She began to flip herself over but stopped at the sight of Gerald. He was still just laying there and she was still feeling some sort of panic about it. So she sat up. She unclenched her fists, dragging her whitened knuckles across the bed. And then she stood, and went to her closet. She kept quiet the whole time and picked out something to wear outside. Something casual, loose. A hoe never gets cold, after all.

Before she knew it, Linda was standing outside of a small house on the outskirts of the town. She took a moment to collect herself yet again, then stepped up to the door and rang the bell. It had become a habit, showing up to his house unannounced. After a minute or so, a young man opened the door, still in his pajamas. “Oh. Linda.” He stammered. 

Linda placed a hand on his shoulder, pushing the man out of the way and stepping through the door. Hands quickly grabbed the man’s wrists and pinned him to the wall. She breathed close to his ear, whispering a greeting. “Hello, Gary.”

Nothing more needed to be said. Gary knew exactly what this was, he wasn’t stupid. Linda needed somewhere to blow off steam, and he happened to be one of the people who she’d decided were there for her to fall back on. He knew how this worked. When she was feeling something she didn’t want to feel she’d go and screw her husband. And if that didn’t work she’d wake some poor fucker up at 4 AM and screw him instead. Really, he wasn’t even sure why he’d taken her up on her offers. Maybe it was because he saw something in her, maybe he pitied her. Maybe they were alike in a way. Gary had always loved helping people, that’s why he had become Hatchetfield’s one and only attorney. This, he thought as they stumbled down the hall towards the bedroom, their lips locked furiously, is just another way of helping. 

Gary fell back upon his bed, fully expecting to be thrown right into the fray of it all. However, he felt lips disconnect from his own, the hands gripping him loosening slightly, as the blonde started curtly into his eyes. If Gary wasn’t already at a loss for words, he really was now. He stared back for what felt to him like ages before slowly nodding his head, opening his mouth to speak. Before any words could escape, Linda’s body reconnected with his own and he was reminded of why he’d become one of her go-to men. It was interesting.

Every movement she made, every choice she shaped, they were always different. Not so much different in a sense of what she was doing, but different in a sense of how. Gary was so familiar with her tendencies and the fervor with which she moved that the smallest difference was always noticeable. Today was one of the most baffling sessions he’d ever experienced. She was always rough, Linda. Sometimes if she was feeling really sad, she’d be almost gentle. But today was a paradox. She was everywhere, filled with desperation and anger, yet at the same time she lingered, occasionally softening her touch. It was almost as if she was examining him, and didn’t like the results.

Sometimes he would try to talk to her if he noticed anything extremely off. It was always exhausting, and usually ended with him being punished in one way or another, but some days the complexities of her movements became too much to ignore. The study of Linda’s mind, her inner workings, became his priority. Gary had always loved having knowledge, and Linda’s ever-surprising habits were one of his favorite areas of study. “Linda?”

“Shut up, Goldstein,” she rasped.

“Linda? What’s going on here?”

“Shut. Up.” 

Gary gulped. There was a completely new edge to her voice, which only confirmed his suspicions. Something was wrong. Albeit, something was always wrong, but this time she knew it too. “Linda. You’re acting even worse than usual. Are you alright?” Silence. “Your leg’s in a brace. Did something happen?”

The blonde grimaced. The lawman glared at her. This was definitely bigger than sexual frustration. “Did you fall? Did… did another man do that? Did-”

“Why can’t you ever keep your mouth shut and mind your own business, Barnes? I-”

Suddenly, all movement between them stopped. The look on Gary’s face was one of us total shock, and Linda wasn’t taking the outburst any differently. Slowly, she backed away from him and grabbed her coat from the floor, draping it over herself. Gary lay there, too shocked to even prop himself up. He watched the woman exit the room, eyes following her as she slipped out of his vision. This is what you get for sleeping with Linda, he supposed. Surprises up the wazoo. This was so much more complicated, and so, so much more strangely exciting than he had ever thought it would be.


	3. update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big fucking authors note

hey! it’s lyn, the author! I quit this project a while ago because I wasn’t confident in my writing skills at all and to be honest I’m still not but there’s a new factor and that’s that I’m bored from quarantine so IM BACK, BITCH. I think I’m gonna start over from the beginning with a better plan for plot in a new work, but I’ll keep this one up too to look back upon. also there’ll be a HUGE focus on character development bc I thought it was obvious enough here but I guess not because I got cancelled for supporting abuse???? so there’ll be a LOT more development too. anyway that’s that welcome back hoes

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing in like two years lmao. hope it’s not too bad! the realization that I could claim a whole new ship was too tempting to ignore 😔👊


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